Design-in-self

What I sought to create, I found inside myself.

11 years ago (feels like lightyears), for my architectural thesis I designed CeSRON- the Center for Self Reflection, Otherness and Narcissism. A building designed to be a mirror for our inner space.

Little did I know I would create Come to Center, a live mirror that does just that, or that I would end up becoming that mirror myself for others, down the line. 

This surreal project was a celebration of, in a very tongue n cheek way- the obsolescence of self-awareness- before I had heard of transformation, awakening, healing, or any of the work I do now- ALL of which is about self-awareness.

I was fascinated by the race riots in Detroit- and in studying, and considering what led to the violence and deep separation between people, I saw very clearly, how the inner division leads to outer conflict. I was just so curious about the moment at which a child looks in the mirror and says- “me”. 

I spent final year of architecture school studying Lacan and Jung and Heiddeger and falling in love with Gordon Matta Clark…. I had a hay day questioning everything in a way that ultimately led to transcending my discipline of design and architecture altogether, when staring at the face of human suffering. 

What supported this inquiry was a reflection from my professor- I had finally found one person who saw my hunger for the edges of knowledge, and encouraged me to go all out-wherever you are Rupinder Singh I am so deeply grateful for our time together spent in joyous explorations of the depths of art, architecture, meaning, connection and dissection of life itself! For hiding my keys to get me out of hiding in the bottomless pit that was opening up as I got closer to facing existential truths. You weren’t just a teacher, you were a healer to me.

I didn’t know it then, but the questions alive in all these drawings are: What is the root of separation?

How did we become people? What got made into a self? Who am I? What is this? I even labeled the diagrams things like (my favorite) “Labyrinthine search for self”, never suspecting any of this had to with Spirituality.

And the thing is, I knew then, that all this, is really the search for our center. I just hadn’t seen I was literally searching for my self and that the answers lay within me, and that I could trust all that which I knew, but couldn’t understand. 

That took time. It took living in inquiry and eventually turning inwards.

It took facing the pain of my own inner separation, seeing through the trap of needing to understand things that lay beyond the confines of the mind.

As they say, hindsight is 20-20! Of course it adds up. Having looked in the mirror long and hard, coming to face myself over the years, now I have become the mirror I once set out to design.

Everyday, I hold a mirror to reflect back the truth, power and wisdom that lies within my clients, their shadows, their light and everything in between. In deep inquiry, I appeal to something that lies beyond my clients’ intellects to allow them to step outside the confines of their minds- diving into their conditioning, their traumas to find freedom within.

The journey of personal healing paves the path for our collective transformation. 

I often say, everything is everything- all forms reflect the One. What appears to be separate, is a facet of difference, not separation.

From the outside it may seem like I am doing transformational work, business consulting, designing a building, painting a painting, writing a poem or telling a story… 

From the inside, it’s always been about one thing- falling ever more deeply into loving exploration of myself, and life itself!

Life. Joy. Transcendence. Evolution…

“Success is easy. It’s going to be fun. It’s going to be given to you. It’s all around you.”

Excerpted from a Jenny Wade interview with Rich Murray. His words resound:

“If you are reading this, in this very moment success is certain.  Success is easy. It’s going to be fun.  It’s going to be given to you.  It’s all around you. Everything you do that’s fun, that you really feel like doing, especially if it’s new, if it puts you in contact with people that feels precious and exciting and playful joyful and there’s a lot of uniqueness and there’s not a lot of rules and there’s a lot of things to choose from and your field of choice is expanding, then you’re being liberated from what you’re used to, you’re being freed from what you’re used to — go for it.

Go for it.  You deserve it.  You absolutely deserve it.  You deserve to have it fast and easy, and you in turn will make it faster and easier for me and the others. No sooner than you learn something, you are teaching it the next minute.  It’s fast. It’s chain-reacting, and it saves the entire world dream.  Everything that is a mistake and is painful is innocent confusion.  There’s no evil.  You are not evil. You are not bad.  And any time you become aware of your limits, that means you are already leaving them behind.  Everything that you don’t like about yourself and other people is already being outgrown, whether you’re aware of it in yourself or in another, the ostensible problem is already the doorway into a rapid avenue of progress.  It’s a revolving door and you spin through it effortlessly into the next stage beyond it.  The body level, emotion level, mind level, spiritual level, technology level all become fluid, interactive, equivalent, merged in brand new ways.  Laughter is the way.  Wrong way is way.  Failure and mistakes are the way for sure.  And even ordinary success can be left behind, no matter how sophisticated and busy it may be.  Just because you’ve always been such and such and done such and such and are really good at such and such doesn’t mean that you can’t grow within it and beyond it both in most amazing ways.  And every mistake is discovered to be a source of tremendous wisdom and inspiration.

Death is not a serious problem, and it is never punishment.  It’s just another opportunity, just like everything else, like every morning when you wake up.  I am Richard Murray.  Hear me.  And hear yourself.  Speak with joy, exuberance, authority, speaking freshly, making it up as you go on.  Be certain of things and be uncertain about what you’re certain about.”