you can’t plan an adventure

Saying a hearty YES to diving into the uncertain, unknowable, unstable life has always led to openings beyond what I could imagine.

Saying a hearty YES to diving into the uncertain, unknowable, unstable life has always led to openings beyond what I could imagine.

My partner and I came to France for a friend’s celebration on a whim. Our bodies like the field of Europe. When it was time to leave, we just didn’t feel right getting on our plane, so we sat there letting it go without us on it.

It was the first time I consciously and willingly let a plane ticket go waste- big for me!

We put all the possibilities on the table- staying another month or two years- we would do what felt right. Something wanted to be seen, and we were ready to meet it.

It’s so easy to trick ourselves into believing self-imposed limitation. It is so easy to forget and deny ourselves how free we actually really are. And we are here to re-member this, continually- to keep coming back to center.

There were a hundred reasons not to follow the call, and we could easily have indulged any of them, but that would have been betraying the emergent. And I am a willing slave to it.

And then our adventure began- as did synchronicities. And the thing about planning an adventure is, you can’t.

The journey through this newness has been full of elation, wonder, awe, love, beauty and grief, mourning, anger, longing, renewal and release. There is an expanded possibility.

As it happens, we are growing through Life.

I’m taking notes- yes the conscious journey isn’t easy, but it is full of resource to bring you safely through the storm- not unscathed but truly changed.

It will make you aware of, open and expand the crevices where you hide from yourself, from each other. And it has us.

“Thou shalt be a nomad!” Erik said when I asked in March, what the universe was trying to teach me with no home to be found after 6 months of looking, none of my visions coming manifest!

The message was pretty clear, and it has been showing us slowly, the shape it wanted to take.

I had planned to be settled in a house, establish a Come to Center space and be running a full workshop schedule by now. Oh and have a “regular routine” – something I keep tricking myself into believing I want, when in reality, I don’t!

And I am SO glad I am not!

Exploring the insides of a new culture and country, learning about it and me, swimming through my own darkness into the Sun and back everyday, is teaching me to listen anew. The ocean and my marriage are my biggest teachers right now.

When I am here-now, I belong everywhere and nowhere.

I forgot for a second how much of a nomad I am at heart, how much travel enriches us and the physical immersion into new landscapes changes our inner landscapes…aah yes.

My work is an expression of my Life, the thing about working with energy and consciousness is that they transcend construct, time and space. Come to Center is still funneling the transformation it needs to because I am transforming and growing.

Life is in sync. I’m learning so much, and enjoying it.

I feel truly homeless and fully at home in it.
I’ve never been a creature of habit.
I’m holding life preciously.

I’ve learned time and again it’s a good thing when my dreams don’t come true, because what does instead opens me up to higher possibilities in ways I could never conjure.

Thankful for the beauty of our world,
the love in our hearts,
and those around us,
the marvel of modern technology,
and the courage to choose freedom over comfort.

Every time.

May it be so for each of us.
Thank you Life.
More please.

Dancing ancestors into being

I had the privilege of dancing Oak Dance last weekend, my first step into Native American ceremonial space. It was time. I am American now.

Dancing to the Tree of Life to bring Light down into the earth for collective liberation. Dancing to celebrate Life, release and renew Self…While the core group danced in person, many of us were remote- satellites from our own lands.

Like every initiation, it was intense. And in the intensity, emerged revelation. It was a lovely experience and a chance to see my protection patterns in full swing!

I started out trying to do it right, by all the rules, dance in perfect sync with the group etc. rather than listening to and trusting what felt good and right to me was enough!

Much Tightness to start!

And then as I relaxed and surrendered.

To the ancient voices singing to the drum, to myself, my inner rhythm, to what is, to the intention rather than the form- there were deep openings.

I felt the field come alive.

As I danced my intention into being, I saw the late Lakota Chief, Ascended Master, holder of the light- Frank Fools crow’s face pop up in my mind.

Everything went silent.
I just cried and danced with abandon in that meeting for a while.

There are some beings who do that to me…Thich Naht Hanh, Paramhansa Yogananda…just the slightest brush with their field silences everything superfluous.

I return home.



And crying, dancing in the sound and the silence, I realized why they say not to take the lord’s name in vain…the power and grace of simple invocation is real. It was beautiful.

I felt the force of everyone dancing our collective intentions into being around this country.

Know that a group of souls danced for YOU. Prayers for your highest good have been imbued in the air you breath…the breath of Life.

Literally.

It was palpable and profound.

You see, no prayer is ever wasted- every prayer changes us and when we change, so does our world.

Maybe you have felt it too- the power of shared intention. Of community with healing purpose!

This is what MURMURATIONS is about, I remembered.
I smiled.

How lovely to be weaving sacred space into my every day. I feel blessed to give and receive the work that flows through me.


As we closed, I saw myself descend down into physical reality after three days in dreamtime!

I felt much gratitude for who I am, who I’m with, what we have done, and how we do it.

I am unmistakably different.
That’s transformation.

What a gift!
What a blessing!

And there is so much to grow into.
The power of my intention is weaving the dream for me to step into.
The Everything is listening.

Big breath in. Big breath out.

Thank you.
More please!

PS: IF you are interested in self-transformation in a powerful loving community, join us in the next Murmurations cohort starting July! More info below:

Metamorphosis is all around you.

This is not a time to hold back, it’s the time you’ve been readying for. Your life situation is the catalyst, your desire the compass, and Truth your guide.

Join this transformational community to dive beneath the surface and heal disconnects that keep you stuck, separate and suffering.

Heal inner division to embody vibrant wholeness. Release your past to answer the call of a creative future. Connect with heart, purpose and a community of care. Learn how life actually works, and use it to fuel your evolution. Take your rightful place in the expansion of collective consciousness.

together we will

  • Learn the foundational principles of healing and mysticism from your direct experience!
  • Benefit from being held in an energy matrix through the course specifically designed to support your growth.
  • Access personal, group and universal intelligence.
  • Share your gifts and receive what others have to offer, deeply seeing and being seen.
  • Create personal rituals to re-attune to inner wisdom and nature’s rhythms.
  • Learn and practice tools to embody presence, deepen connection to yourself, others and purpose.
  • Explore and set relational and personal boundaries that nourish your well-being.
  • Feel the freedom and healing power of vulnerability and authenticity.
  • Receive surprises and real transformation.
  • Create meaningful relationships based in mutuality.
  • Most importantly, all while having FUN!

course components

  • An intimate group of 8 peers for depth and personalized attention.
  • 12 Live, facilitated bi-weekly 2 hour calls with your group via Zoom.
  • Access to call recordings shared only with participants.
  • 2 individual 1 hr sessions with Ishita Sharma to align and deepen your growth online or via phone. Option to add more at a discounted rate.
  • 1 fine-tuned astrological reading for insight into inherited patterns and your particular life path.
  • 1 herbal consult to cultivate a conscious, nourishing relationship with the Earth in support of your intentions.
  • 1 virtual cacao ceremony with Giovanna Garcia to augment group coherence and connect to your own intuition. You will receive ceremonial cacao and preparation instructions.
  • Private online group for connection, sharing and growth with others between modules.
  • Each call will combine teaching with experiential individual, paired and group exercises, sharing and Q&A.

Zodiac Mantras

These mantras touch something so core and essential in me, I cry every time I meet them.

Excerpted from Alice Bailey’s Treatise on the Seven Rays, each describes the energy of the constellation through which the Soul chooses to incarnate- our deepest longing and purpose, embedded in sound with such simple profundity.

Writing it here so I can re-member and access this knowing as I make my way into Esoteric Astrology!

THE WORDS FOR THE SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC

From the angle of form. Natural order. Retrogression through signs.
Pisces through the Signs to Aries

Pisces
“And the Word said: Go forth into matter.”

Aquarius
“And the Word said: Let desire in form be ruler.”

Capricorn
“And the Word said: Let ambition rule and the door stand wide.

Sagittarius
“And the Word said: Let food be sought.”

Scorpio
“And the Word said: Let Maya flourish and let deception rule.”

Libra
“And the Word said: Let choice be made.”

Virgo
“And the Word said: Let matter reign.”

Leo
“And the Word said: Let other forms exist. I rule.”

Cancer
“And the Word said: Let isolation be the rule and yet the crowd exists.”

Gemini
“And the Word said: Let instability do its work.”

Taurus
“And the Word said:. Let struggle be undismayed.”

Aries
“And the Word said: Let form again be sought.”

From the angle of the soul. Spiritual order. Correct passing through sign.
Aries through the Signs to Pisces.

Aries
“I come forth and from the plane of mind I rule.”

Taurus
“I see, and when the eye is opened, all is illumined.”

Gemini
“I recognize my other self and in the waning of that self I grow and glow.”

Cancer
“I build a lighted house and therein dwell.”

Leo
“I am That and That am I.”

Virgo
“I am the Mother and the Child. I, God, I matter am.”

Libra
“I choose the way that leads between the two great lines of force.

Scorpio
“Warrior I am, and from the battle I emerge triumphant.”

Sagittarius
“I see the goal. I reach the goal and see another.”

Capricorn
“Lost am I in light supernal, yet on that light I turn my back.”

Aquarius
“Water of life am I, poured forth for thirsty men.”

Pisces
“I leave the Father’s Home and turning back, I save.”

My most honest invitation yet

Murmurations – a transformational community to realize your deepest intentions, isn’t just a path into your heart’s longing…My most honest expression and offering, it’s also one to mine. 

Lifetimes of hiding behind vice and virtue alike, the game is up. Years of reckoning with the fear of being seen and not seen, in my gifts and my wounds has me standing here now.

A 10 year crawl out of “my spiritual closet” feels pretty damn complete!

From here is my invitation to you- I am asking you to join me. It’s time.

If you feel a resonance, apply to the course soon. Enrollment closes Monday!

MURMURATIONS IS DIFFERENT.

It’s the weaving of Heart and Mind, Love and Power, Earth and Sky, Masculine and Feminine, Seen and Unseen, Sacred and Mundane- through the thread of your truest longing. 

Awakening and healing in conscious community, come dance the dream with us!

Together we will be Scientists and Mystics.
We will test everything in our experience.
We will be Individual and One.
We will look in the mirror of relationship.
We’ll keep what’s useful and discard the rest. 

An astrologer will illuminate your path and place in the order of the Everything. 
An herbalist with help you ground it into Earth through the wisdom of Plant Medicine. 
cacao ceremonialist will open and connect our hearts to the heart of the Mystery.
I will hold a mirror to both your light and your shadow.
We will learn to walk in love together towards our deepest yearnings.
You will cultivate self-trust through your direct experience. 

It’s my most vulnerable and wholesome offering yet. 

Years of silence taught me to speak. Years of kneeling taught me to stand. The little girl who longed to be Krishna, the “Why Girl” kicked out of Physics class, the idealist who rebelled against reality, now stands a woman embracing it. 

In celebration of her wholeness and brokenness, a lifelong love affair with life and the Divine has planted her firmly on very Human feet. A wounded healer, a mystic, a teacher and sometimes, a magician. She is first and always, Human.

I trust what I feel when I tune into the silence. I ask of the Mystery and receive with grace. Always, it is precisely enough.

I know the whole thing has nothing to do with me and it’s all for me! Eyes open or closed, wherever I look I see me in you in me in All That Is. Dimensions melt into dimensions. Time warp equations of college Physics have never made more sense.

I’ve come full circle, again.
Love is.  

Crossing cultures, continents and paradigms, I take my place in the Everything as I invite you to take yours, alongside a masterful guide, and the manual of your experience.

If you can see yourself in this circle with us, know that a place is being held for you. Anchored by a crystal, blessed by fire and honored with loving attention. 

You just have to claim it.

We start next week. Join us! 

from my heart to yours,
Ishita

Listening for Collective Healing

We know listening is key to healing conflict, yet we seldom know where or how to begin.

In this experiential live online session I led for the global Truth and Reconciliation Weekend, we explored listening through questions like:

How can listening catalyze healing between and within us?
How can we listen to those we disagree with?
How can we connect beyond our ideas of eachother, beyond right and wrong, good and bad, us Vs. them thinking?

This is a recording of a session facilitated by Ishita where we will experiment with a way of being in relation to each other and ourselves that deepens presence, authentic connection and heals division.

Bring your curiosity and the willingness to see and be seen to each exercise.

As you follow the recording, turn the questions being explored onto yourself and notice what you discover.

If you are moved by the session and wish to continue diving deeper, I hope you’ll join me and a group of peers committed to bettering the world.

The world is begging us to show up fully for ourselves and each other from a place of love.

with hope and love,
Ishita

Receiving

I’ve come to suspect it’s a living truth that we want to give the world what we most need, and when we do, it comes right back to us.

I’ve come to suspect it’s a living truth that we want to give the world what we most need, and when we do, it comes right back to us.

“Hi, do you want a protein bar?” I said to the old Black homeless woman sitting on a park bench alone away from the crowd of homeless people milling about in Prichard Park. 

I had already gifted away the bags I had made to younger folks on the other side of the park. But as I left, looking for the old man I had seen a few weeks ago, I saw her on the bench by the toilets, alone, calmly watching the world go by. Her spirit called, shining in her eyes. 

“What is it?” she asked.

“Chocolate brownie.” I said, hoping she’d like the flavor.

“Yea- thank you. God bless you.”

“Thanks, bless you too!” I took a bar out and handed it to her. But it was hard to walk away.

“What else do you need?” I couldn’t resist asking.

“What do you have?” she asked.

“I have nothing right now. But I’ll come back for you. Do you need things for the winter?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“Do you have a warm hat?”

“No.”

“Do you have warm gloves?” 

“No.”

“Do you have warm socks or a scarf?”

“No.”

“Ok- well I’ll come back and bring you some. What size do you wear?”

“In what? shoes or dress?” She asked.

“Both.” I said.

“I wear a 10 – 1/2″ in shoes and a 10 or a 12 in dress.”

“But you’re so tiny! Are you sure?” I couldn’t imagine how she’d fit a size 12.

“Yea. I like comfortable clothes. None of that small medium. I don’t like that Medium.”

I laughed. “OK. So where can I find you? Here?”

“Well- I don’t know. I got places to go. I’m trying to take the 5 o’ clock bus to go see my Dad. I move around you know. You tell me when you’ll come.”

I pause. Logistics…”I can come back in two weeks on Sunday.”

“Ok- well if I’m not here you can give the stuff to someone else who needs it. You just put it on the wall, they’ll take it from there. Wait, no it’s better to talk to a person. You don’t know what’ll happen to the stuff if you just leave it.”

“Yea- well, I’ll see if I can come by sooner.” I said, realizing this was a thin plan.

“OK.”

I walked away, wondering how to make it work. As we drove away I wondered if I could run out and get her some warm things before she possibly took the bus. She didn’t look too worried about anything so I worried she’d go without. It was 4:38pm, and if she got to the 5 o’ clock bus I’d surely miss her. 

Driving away didn’t feel right. I found 11 dollars between the glove box and the change pocket in the car. It wasn’t much, but it was something. I asked my partner to swerve back around, I had to catch her. 

She was heading into the toilet, I caught her just in time. I called out- “Hi, you! Hold on!” She stopped. “I don’t know if I’ll catch you again, but here’s eleven dollars. Go buy some warm stuff at Goodwill.”

“Yea you right. I was going to go there. There’s two of ’em.”

“Yea you can probably buy some warm socks and gloves with this and maybe a hat too.”

“Once someone gave me warm boots and they were black and and so warm they cleared my digestion right up!” she shared brightly.

“I believe that.” I said, feeling the pain that perhaps she herself couldn’t feel, imagining what going cold and hungry does to a stomach. I saw her wrinkled hand holding the money lightly, spread out.

“Well it isn’t much but put it away in a safe place.” I said.

“No, no- it’s a miracle!” she cried. “See God loves me and God loves you!”

“Yea God does love us.”I said.

“And I love you!” She added, eyes smiling.

“I love you too. You’re so beautiful, you know?” I said. It was all over her face- radiance, contentment, surrender.

“No, no, you’re beautiful! It takes one to know one!” She said.

We both laughed.

“God bless you lady!” She said. “And your soul! May God keep you safe.”

And I walked away laughing crying.

I’d prayed that morning that I would give to the homeless with humility and grace, and here I was receiving the same.

*Image via Pexels.com

In the deep

This poem came through tears…as a teacher of mine asked I accept my place in the world. It’s time, I know it’s time.

In the Deep
5/25/20

Deep
in the deep of the deep
something profound is stirring.

Even as I cloak myself -
Parvati to Kali,
hiding between the play
of Sun and Moon

something quiet is moving.

Listen:

From heart to heart,
the heart of God.

This is a beautiful incarnation.
There is a majesty here!
A profundity-

Joy!

I walk where spirit and matter kiss...
and
withinbecomeswithoutandallaround

A magnificent incarnation!
It is a Truth.
I stand at the top of the mountain.
It is a Truth.

And from here it is seen so clearly-

all the while the only thing stirring
was Vishnu's play-
His Sudharshan chakra
swirling through this world
quietly
creating another.

Design-in-self

What I sought to create, I found inside myself.

11 years ago (feels like lightyears), for my architectural thesis I designed CeSRON- the Center for Self Reflection, Otherness and Narcissism. A building designed to be a mirror for our inner space…in a culture where self-reflection has become obsolete, replaced by narcissistic self-indulgence, fueled by fear of examining our own shadows.

Little did I know I would go on to create Come to Center, a live mirror that does just that, or that I would end up being that mirror myself for others, down the line…

Little did I know the shadows I was pointing to in the culture have a name- collective trauma, and that it is so universal, it is personal.

This surreal project was a celebration of, in a very tongue n cheek way- the obsolescence of self-awareness- before I had heard of transformation, awakening, healing, or any of the work I do now- ALL of which begins with self-awareness.

The inward turn is where it begins- looking in the mirror of truth.

I was fascinated by the race riots in Detroit- and in studying, and considering what led to the violence and deep separation between people, I saw very clearly, how the inner division leads to outer conflict. I was just so curious about the moment at which a child looks in the mirror and says- “me”. 

I spent final year of architecture school studying Lacan and Jung and Heiddeger and falling in love with Gordon Matta Clark…. I had a hay day questioning everything in a way that ultimately led to transcending my discipline of design and architecture altogether, when staring at the face of human suffering. 

What supported this inquiry was a reflection from my professor- I had finally found one person who saw my hunger for the edges of knowledge, and encouraged me to go all out-wherever you are Rupinder Singh I am so deeply grateful for our time together spent in joyous explorations of the depths of art, architecture, meaning, connection and dissection of life itself! For hiding my keys to get me out of hiding in the bottomless pit that was opening up as I got closer to facing existential truths. You weren’t just a teacher, you were a healer to me.

I didn’t know it then, but the questions alive in all these drawings are: What is the root of separation?

How did we become people? What got made into a self? Who am I? What is this? I even labeled the diagrams things like (my favorite) “Labyrinthine search for self”, never suspecting any of this had to with Spirituality.

And the thing is, I knew then, that all this, is really the search for our center. I just hadn’t seen I was literally searching for my self and that the answers lay within me, and that I could trust all that which I knew, but couldn’t understand. 

That took time. It took living in inquiry and eventually turning inwards.

It took facing the pain of my own inner separation, seeing through the trap of needing to understand things that lay beyond the confines of the mind.

As they say, hindsight is 20-20! Of course it adds up. Having looked in the mirror long and hard, coming to face myself over the years, now I have become the mirror I once set out to design.

Everyday, I hold a mirror to reflect back the truth, power and wisdom that lies within my clients, their shadows, their light and everything in between. In deep inquiry, I appeal to something that lies beyond my clients’ intellects to allow them to step outside the confines of their minds- diving into their conditioning, their traumas to find freedom within.

The journey of personal healing paves the path for our collective transformation. 

I often say, everything is everything- all forms reflect the One. What appears to be separate, is a facet of difference, not separation.

From the outside it may seem like I am doing transformational work, business consulting, designing a building, painting a painting, writing a poem or telling a story… 

From the inside, it’s always been about one thing- falling ever more deeply into loving exploration of myself, and life itself!

in a nutshell

I feel called to serve beauty, wisdom and wholeness. I was recently asked what my ‘message’ is- and here is what I said:

I am interested in existential, fundamental truth. The mechanics of being. In my explorations here’s what I have found to be true:

Absolute Truth can only be approached as Shiv-a – That which is Not.

The reflection of this Absolute is knowable in form as the organizing intelligence of the universe. It manifests within each of us as our own internal harmonic.

Every being is moved by a unique internal harmonic sometimes called God and exteriorized in culture, but of course, the source of creation, of preservation, of destruction- all aspects of manifestation are alive and beating from within us.

The degree of our alignment with the harmonic determines our degree of coherence with the rhythm of the whole, and the fluidity and joy we experience in life.

The illusion of a separate self to be protected, guarded and perpetuated creates distortion in our alignment with the harmonic (never in the harmonic itself). Self betrayal- saying no to our life force- the harmonic- leaves us disconnected from the song our instrument wants to sing.

Liberation, fulfilment, efficacy, joy, and fullness of expression- all lie in aligning with the harmonic. Learning to listen, trust and be guided by it- moving in harmony with all that is, asymptotically towards coherence of the particular with the Whole.

The harmonic isn’t missing in anyone of us. Even those of us who have conditioned and distanced themselves from it consciously or unconsciously, intellectually or somatically…the harmonic vibrates within us all.

To listen, we need silence. To trust, we need direct experience of our own Truth. And the only way to aligned, fulfilled, joyful living, is in.

All that is ever needed, is to go within.

In every moment, consciously allowing the directness of experience to be seen, felt, known, allowed, invited and finally loved…

Hence, Open Meditation.