Where fear and yearning meet.

All fear comes from a forgetting of who we are- when we forget life isn’t happening to me, I’m creating it. When we forget I’m not a tiny powerless thing in the universe, the whole universe is in me! When we forget the darkness is here simply to help us remember, we get scared.

And when we remember life is here to make us conscious, not happy- we can again embrace the arising with the acceptance it needs. We can give our fearful inner friend the hug it needs- because what it needs, is to be seen and held.

What fears are holding you hostage from living your fullest expression in the world? What’s the risk you cannot afford not to take?

I just got off the phone with a dear friend facing the crisis of having outgrown her own cocoon. She knows it’s time to step into her dreams, and she’s afraid of facing the unknown and the potential disappointment of asking life for what she wants and not getting it.

She isn’t alone. Sound familiar?

As the spring comes into bloom, it brings new yearnings in our hearts- and each yearning must meet the fear that keeps it chained before it can be realized. This is natural- ever impulse to expand is met with its polarity, until we can integrate the two. That’s the beginning of wholness.

Yes- there is a space for fear and yearning to meet, to know eachother, and ultimately transform into ease and fluidity.

When I started Come to Center I had to sit with similar fears. And the truth is, as we meet our fears, they morph into newer ones. If you’re waiting to feel fearless before you take the next step in life, I want to remind you that every fear is a gift. It is an invitation into the next step of your evolution.

It’s the next dragon on your hero(ine)’s journey.

In fact, it’s something I help people through all the time now. Because I know it isn’t about not feeling afraid, it’s about learning to hold our fearful inner child with love and compassion, while growing it up. As Liz Gilbert says, fear gets to come on the ride, but it doesn’t get to drive the car.

All fear comes from a forgetting of who we are- when we forget life isn’t happening to me, I’m creating it. When we forget I’m not a tiny powerless thing in the universe, the whole universe is in me! When we forget the darkness is here simply to help us remember, we feel afraid.

And when we remember life is here to make us conscious, not happy- we can again embrace the arising with the acceptance it needs. We can give our fearful inner friend the hug it needs- because what it needs, is to be seen and held.

How can we turn fear into alertness? How can we meet it with open hearts when it’s busy shutting our heart down?

Consider this:

In our last session, I asked a high performing client who was feeling stuck with fear of a pending decision and who is basically a master at whatever she tries, to identify something “She sucks at” and go try learning it.

After fishing for a while, she decided she definitely couldn’t write songs and was shy of her singing voice. So naturally, I made that her experiment for the fortnight. 

Today, she came back for our next session, bubbling with excitement about “all the things I am just terrible at! Which are SO fun to try! I forgot how much fun learning is! I didn’t just try a song, I tried everything! I even tried juggling- and I suck at juggling but people were cheering for me saying how cool it was to see me approach it so fearlessly- and to see me improve as I went through the process.” 

And then, she sang the song she’d written.

By the time she was done singing it, we both had tears rolling down our faces. She had written the song about the fires she was facing in her own life and meeting the heartbreak and beauty of all that is unfolding. It was real. It touched my heart. It was her first song.

And she said, it’s been changing even as she sings it…isn’t that a metaphor for life? 

When we stop taking everything so seriously, when we stop avoiding, and rather embrace our fears, stare our imperfection in the face with love, it only brings us deeper wisdom, and love, and joy and connection. 

The pending decision was still daunting, but the fear could no longer debilitate her, because she’s experienced the beauty of fear paving the way for fluidity, all it takes is the willingness to meet it.

It is a privilege to do this work, with people willing to go into these places with me!

So, what’s the risk you can’t not afford to take?

What’s the fear stopping you from living your fullest expression?

How would it be to transform that fear into fluidity?

What could open up in that reality?

If you’d like to dig deeper and are curious about 1:1 work, let’s talk. All you need to get started is curiosity!

Mother

On life after delivery and life after death…

from the Hungarian writer, Útmutató a Léleknek:

In a mother’s womb were twin babies. One asked the other:

“Do you believe in life after delivery?” The other replied, “Why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later.”

“Nonsense” said the first. “There is no life after delivery. What kind of life would that be?”

The second said, “I don’t know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths. Maybe we will have other senses that we can’t understand now.”

The first replied, “That is absurd. Walking is impossible. And eating with our mouths? Ridiculous! The umbilical cord supplies nutrition and everything we need. But the umbilical cord is so short. Life after delivery is to be logically excluded.”

The second insisted, “Well I think there is something and maybe it’s different than it is here. Maybe we won’t need this physical cord anymore.”

The first replied, “Nonsense. And moreover if there is life, then why has no one has ever come back from there? Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery there is nothing but darkness and silence and oblivion. It takes us nowhere.”

“Well, I don’t know,” said the second, “but certainly we will meet Mother and she will take care of us.”

The first scoffed. “Mother? You actually believe in Mother? That’s laughable. If Mother exists then where is She now?”

The second said, “She is all around us. We are surrounded by her. We are of Her. It is in Her that we live. Without Her this world would not and could not exist.”

Said the first: “Well I don’t see Her, so it is only logical that She doesn’t exist.”

To which the second replied, “Sometimes, while in silence you focus and really listen. You can perceive Her presence, and can hear Her warm presence and loving voice, calling down from above.”

Mantra

A mantra pointing to life purpose…the part and the whole.

Mantra is a Sanskrit word: Man + Tra. 

The simplicity of Sanskrit’s structure can be deceiving. For within the construction of its words lies a fundamental correlation of sound and form, bound in the frequency of the utterance.

Man translates to mind and Tra translates to vehicle or instrument. Thus, a mantra is an instrument to move the mind. Where? Where the sound points.

Over the years I have been enchanted by the Sanskrit I have inherited in my lineage. I lose myself in the beauty of a word just tracing its lines with my fingers, or its sound with my tongue or feel its vibration moving through my being.

Sanskrit shlokas and mantras surface often in my consciousness with joyous reverence. But sometimes, a sentence or a phrase arises in plain English that resounds so true and beautiful that it reverberates for days within.

This most recent one surfaced in my evening routine and points to purpose and calling:

May the highest and best in each serve the highest and best for all.  

There is much and many in a state of transition…as we find ourselves confronted by the limitations of old ways of thinking and living, many sense a new world of possibilities may lie just beyond. Big questions emerge in uncomfortable confrontations…there are quarter-life, mid-life and end-of-life crises: What is the purpose of my life? we ask.

Big questions often have humble answers. Life is to be lived. Existence has no purpose but to exist. So, live! Be here, be now. What more?

To be here and now may not sound like a worthy life purpose if the belief system is looking for a mission to fulfill, a destiny to carve or a goal to achieve. Perhaps because we have forgotten how to live in presence and the expansion it brings.

But perhaps, by intending to use the best of that which is us, to serve the best for all (no exclusions!), we can remember how to live here and now and maybe just for a minute, transcend the ego and silence the mind and open up to a greater possibility…for the best for the whole is the best for the part, and the best for the part is the best for the whole.

 

 

Say yes to YOUR life!

You need not betray yourself to be successful in life. In fact, a successful life can only manifest when you live authentically, from your Truth.

A little encouragement for listening to that inner knowingness….

I know sooo many people who are “in transition” right now. This is most commonly manifested as switching careers in our generation, but if you look more deeply at the unrest that drives it, the transition permeates all aspects of the being…mental, emotional and even spiritual…because all aspects are of the one.

Sometimes it’s hard to know which way to go. Old beliefs, fears, structures don’t serve, but the new, almost become, luring and inviting, can seem scary.

In these pregnant moments of self growth, be bold my friends! Be Courageous! Use these words, know the worth of living a life ALIGNED!

A collection of wisdom by Winslow Strong-

“If you bring forth what is within you it will save you. If you do not, it will destroy you.”

Thomas Merton

“And what, precisely, is destroyed? Energy is destroyed first. Those shining eyes. And then faith. And then hope. And then life itself. The increasing deadening of aliveness that Brian experienced as he went into the seminary is the very opposite of Jane Goodall’s experience. When a life is founded on self-betrayal, the habit of self-betrayal proliferates until we are at peril of not remembering who we are at all. There is a slow deadening of spirit as we try to pick up the burdens of adulthood without the energy of The Gift. Our work can be motivated by obligation, by hunger for the external rewards of accomplishment, or by strongly reinforced ideas about who we should be in this lifetime. But none of these motivations has the authentic energy required for mastery of a profession. So, all of these motivations lead slowly to a downward spiral that tends to crash, as it did with Brian, at midlife. Without the balm of real fulfillment there is a growing emptiness inside. Finally, it requires a heroic effort to simply go on with life in the face of this emptiness. The light in the eyes goes out.”

Stephen Cope

an outline for mornings

-open eyes (no alarm)

-resist checking your phone/email/clock etc.

-smile at being alive

-smile at whoever lies next to you

-rub your palms together (activate nerve endings and wake up the body)

-place them on your eyes

-stretch/roll/sigh…you’re alive! and you have a body!

-roll to the right and sit up in steps

-express your gratitude: say what you are thankful for

-express your intention: say what you wish for: for you, for your loved ones, for everyone everywhere

-express forgiveness: forgive those who have harmed you, ask those you have harmed for forgiveness, forgive yourself

-imagine yourself at the end of this day, beaming, surrounded by everyone you love and everyone who loves you cheering, shining, for you, with you…

-stand up

-stretch along your whooole body…move all the joints, break the fluids from last night- add a little angamardhana if needed

-visit the loo

-drink a couple sips of water

-breath practice

-morning meditation

-asanaas if needed

-warm herbal tea with honey

-warm, cooked non sugary breakfast