It is humbling- it cracks us open exactly where the light needs to get in. It is the last doorway to homecoming, fulfillment.
Especially when we find ourselves in a bardo, as the Tibetans call it- that voidness between what was and what is yet to come.
Here we meet the tug of our cumulated past, our ideas, fears, our attachments, our compulsions. We continue striving for the impossible, perpetuating our own suffering, and that of others. We yield to fear and indulge our pain. We give ourselves up for an imagined reward, and it hurts.
Faced with the real threat of dissolution, and yes, even renewal, it is tempting to collapse, strive, fight, avoid, indulge- employ familiar safety strategies to innocently re-create the false safety that eventually must and will crumble.
Yesterday’s new moon was a soft punctuation on the completion of a death process for me. After a deep swim in the void, mourning the death of ideas and ideals, humbled and changed, I can feel newness coming alive within me, exacting re-commitment, expanding response ability.
But only after a full blown teenage rebellion,did I find it- a deeper commitment to the Divine.
Saying yes again to putting both feet into the river of Life. Because, as my friend Joann said, “you can’t find your yes until you allow your no.” And as Maya Luna says in Becoming Kali (the call of this moment) below, “our pain is the portal to our power.”
Crying on my knees, I bowed down, offering all the pieces of the Pie of my Life to God – literally, and metaphorically. I am here to do the needful- what is asked of me, and I bring my own wants to the negotiating table.
Now again, there is peace. And an amused curiosity. I am watching the subtle expansion afoot, I am listening for where and how the pieces fall.
And I suspect I’m not alone in emerging from a death cycle…creation, existence, dissolution and rebirth are not just markers of life cycles, they accompany us through phases of our evolution, all while still alive. It’s happening now in and around us. So when you examine your life-
What wants to end? What is beginning?
What do you know needs to go, that you don’t want to let go of?
Can you be with what remains? Can you listen to the emergent?
Join us for the FREE September Community Call – RELEASE + REBIRTHonSeptember 20th, 7pm EST to examine these questions together, as we ready to usher in the shifts calling us.
As the Equinox tilts us into the Fall, you will be right on time to join the new cohort of MURMURATIONS– a transformational community walking towards truth, love and power, together. The group opens Sept 21, our first gathering will be on Oct 5.
In this unique and rejuvenating process we mine group intelligence, celebrating our light and integrating our shadows to end what needs to end, and welcome in what wants to be made through each and all of us, in a flock of spiritual warriors with shared values.
There are spaces and scholarships open- all you need to apply is resonance and a commitment to your own transformation.
If you want to know power, and use it aligned with Life itself, explore my invitation, and follow the call.
Self to Self, Power to Power, Ishita
BECOMING KALI by Maya Luna
You want to know power? Stop spitting out your food and eat. Behold the banquet of density. Eat the chaos. Be infused by the force that birthed this world into existence Eat your struggle. Let it brand you with the unbound freedom of fire. Eat your exhaustion. Let it sand down the jagged edges of your striving. Eat your losses. Let them open you into the clarity of empty space. Eat your regrets. Let them infuse you with the blessing of unnameable perfection. Eat death. Let it scatter into ashes on fertile ground. Eat your wound. Let it fill you with the marrow of unconditional kindness. Eat your madness. Let it explode you into the breathless beauty of stars. Eat your limitations. Let them press you into a radiant diamond. Eat your hurt. Eat your devastation. Eat your unbearable heartbreak. Swallow these poisons into the great heart. Bear down and birth your own deathless body. Your pain is the portal to power.
Kali Kali Maha Kali – the dark one, she who seeds dissolution of all that is false.
the ease of being
forth fulfillment for fulfilment
here now whole ness
! (the nature)
free and full and delight full !
(or may not)
will know from the
ease of being
No action rooted in lack could ever bring forth fulfillment.
Fulfillment is here and now. Wholeness is the nature of being- free, full and delightful! Action may or may not arise- you will know, from the very ease of being.
To examine inner grasping with curiosity and amusement, rooting into being, is to invite its own dissolution.
My husband floating on backwaters in rural Thailand, March 2016 (from STUDIO-ish)