Kali, Kali, Maha Kali!

Surrender isn’t easy.

It is humbling- it cracks us open exactly where the light needs to get in. 
It is the last doorway to homecoming, fulfillment.

Especially when we find ourselves in a bardo, as the Tibetans call it- that voidness between what was and what is yet to come.

Here we meet the tug of our cumulated past, our ideas, fears, our attachments, our compulsions. We continue striving for the impossible, perpetuating our own suffering, and that of others. We yield to fear and indulge our pain. We give ourselves up for an imagined reward, and it hurts.

Faced with the real threat of dissolution, and yes, even renewal, it is tempting to collapse, strive, fight, avoid, indulge- employ familiar safety strategies to innocently re-create the false safety that eventually must and will crumble. 

Yesterday’s new moon was a soft punctuation on the completion of a death process for me. After a deep swim in the void, mourning the death of ideas and ideals, humbled and changed, I can feel newness coming alive within me, exacting re-commitment, expanding response ability. 

Renewed, I am eager to welcome a new group of spiritual warriors, awakening and healing through their own cycles of death and renewal, in service of All That Is. 

But only after a full blown teenage rebellion, did I find it- a deeper commitment to the Divine.

Saying yes again to putting both feet into the river of Life. Because, as my friend Joann said, “you can’t find your yes until you allow your no.”  And as Maya Luna says in Becoming Kali (the call of this moment) below, “our pain is the portal to our power.” 

Surrender.

Crying on my knees, I bowed down, offering all the pieces of the Pie of my Life to God – literally, and metaphorically. I am here to do the needful- what is asked of me, and I bring my own wants to the negotiating table. 

Now again, there is peace. And an amused curiosity. I am watching the subtle expansion afoot, I am listening for where and how the pieces fall. 

And I suspect I’m not alone in emerging from a death cycle…creation, existence, dissolution and rebirth are not just markers of life cycles, they accompany us through phases of our evolution, all while still alive. It’s happening now in and around us. So when you examine your life-

What wants to end? What is beginning?

What do you know needs to go, that you don’t want to let go of? 

Can you be with what remains? 
Can you listen to the emergent?

Join us for the FREE September Community Call – RELEASE + REBIRTH on September 20th, 7pm EST to examine these questions together, as we ready to usher in the shifts calling us.
 
REGISTER FOR RELEASE + REBIRTH
As the Equinox tilts us into the Fall, you will be right on time to join the new cohort of MURMURATIONS  a transformational community walking towards truth, love and power, together. The group opens Sept 21, our first gathering will be on Oct 5.

In this unique and rejuvenating process we mine group intelligence, celebrating our light and integrating our shadows to end what needs to end, and welcome in what wants to be made through each and all of us, in a flock of spiritual warriors with shared values. 

There are spaces and scholarships open- all you need to apply is resonance and a commitment to your own transformation.

If you want to know power, and use it aligned with Life itself, explore my invitation, and follow the call.

Self to Self, Power to Power,
Ishita


BECOMING KALI
by Maya Luna


You want to know power?
Stop spitting out your food and eat.
Behold the banquet of density.
Eat the chaos. Be infused by the force that birthed this world into existence
Eat your struggle. Let it brand you with the unbound freedom of fire.
Eat your exhaustion. Let it sand down the jagged edges of your striving.
Eat your losses. Let them open you into the clarity of empty space.
Eat your regrets. Let them infuse you with the blessing of unnameable perfection.
Eat death. Let it scatter into ashes on fertile ground.
Eat your wound. Let it fill you with the marrow of unconditional kindness.
Eat your madness. Let it explode you into the breathless beauty of stars.
Eat your limitations. Let them press you into a radiant diamond.
Eat your hurt. Eat your devastation. Eat your unbearable heartbreak.
Swallow these poisons into the great heart.
Bear down and birth your own deathless body.
Your pain is the portal to power.

Kali Kali Maha Kali – the dark one, she who seeds dissolution of all that is false. 

And then we ask: what remains? 

Dancing ancestors into being

I had the privilege of dancing Oak Dance last weekend, my first step into Native American ceremonial space. It was time. I am American now.

Dancing to the Tree of Life to bring Light down into the earth for collective liberation. Dancing to celebrate Life, release and renew Self…While the core group danced in person, many of us were remote- satellites from our own lands.

Like every initiation, it was intense. And in the intensity, emerged revelation. It was a lovely experience and a chance to see my protection patterns in full swing!

I started out trying to do it right, by all the rules, dance in perfect sync with the group etc. rather than listening to and trusting what felt good and right to me was enough!

Much Tightness to start!

And then as I relaxed and surrendered.

To the ancient voices singing to the drum, to myself, my inner rhythm, to what is, to the intention rather than the form- there were deep openings.

I felt the field come alive.

As I danced my intention into being, I saw the late Lakota Chief, Ascended Master, holder of the light- Frank Fools crow’s face pop up in my mind.

Everything went silent.
I just cried and danced with abandon in that meeting for a while.

There are some beings who do that to me…Thich Naht Hanh, Paramhansa Yogananda…just the slightest brush with their field silences everything superfluous.

I return home.



And crying, dancing in the sound and the silence, I realized why they say not to take the lord’s name in vain…the power and grace of simple invocation is real. It was beautiful.

I felt the force of everyone dancing our collective intentions into being around this country.

Know that a group of souls danced for YOU. Prayers for your highest good have been imbued in the air you breath…the breath of Life.

Literally.

It was palpable and profound.

You see, no prayer is ever wasted- every prayer changes us and when we change, so does our world.

Maybe you have felt it too- the power of shared intention. Of community with healing purpose!

This is what MURMURATIONS is about, I remembered.
I smiled.

How lovely to be weaving sacred space into my every day. I feel blessed to give and receive the work that flows through me.


As we closed, I saw myself descend down into physical reality after three days in dreamtime!

I felt much gratitude for who I am, who I’m with, what we have done, and how we do it.

I am unmistakably different.
That’s transformation.

What a gift!
What a blessing!

And there is so much to grow into.
The power of my intention is weaving the dream for me to step into.
The Everything is listening.

Big breath in. Big breath out.

Thank you.
More please!

PS: IF you are interested in self-transformation in a powerful loving community, join us in the next Murmurations cohort starting July! More info below:

Metamorphosis is all around you.

This is not a time to hold back, it’s the time you’ve been readying for. Your life situation is the catalyst, your desire the compass, and Truth your guide.

Join this transformational community to dive beneath the surface and heal disconnects that keep you stuck, separate and suffering.

Heal inner division to embody vibrant wholeness. Release your past to answer the call of a creative future. Connect with heart, purpose and a community of care. Learn how life actually works, and use it to fuel your evolution. Take your rightful place in the expansion of collective consciousness.

together we will

  • Learn the foundational principles of healing and mysticism from your direct experience!
  • Benefit from being held in an energy matrix through the course specifically designed to support your growth.
  • Access personal, group and universal intelligence.
  • Share your gifts and receive what others have to offer, deeply seeing and being seen.
  • Create personal rituals to re-attune to inner wisdom and nature’s rhythms.
  • Learn and practice tools to embody presence, deepen connection to yourself, others and purpose.
  • Explore and set relational and personal boundaries that nourish your well-being.
  • Feel the freedom and healing power of vulnerability and authenticity.
  • Receive surprises and real transformation.
  • Create meaningful relationships based in mutuality.
  • Most importantly, all while having FUN!

course components

  • An intimate group of 8 peers for depth and personalized attention.
  • 12 Live, facilitated bi-weekly 2 hour calls with your group via Zoom.
  • Access to call recordings shared only with participants.
  • 2 individual 1 hr sessions with Ishita Sharma to align and deepen your growth online or via phone. Option to add more at a discounted rate.
  • 1 fine-tuned astrological reading for insight into inherited patterns and your particular life path.
  • 1 herbal consult to cultivate a conscious, nourishing relationship with the Earth in support of your intentions.
  • 1 virtual cacao ceremony with Giovanna Garcia to augment group coherence and connect to your own intuition. You will receive ceremonial cacao and preparation instructions.
  • Private online group for connection, sharing and growth with others between modules.
  • Each call will combine teaching with experiential individual, paired and group exercises, sharing and Q&A.

Zodiac Mantras

These mantras touch something so core and essential in me, I cry every time I meet them.

Excerpted from Alice Bailey’s Treatise on the Seven Rays, each describes the energy of the constellation through which the Soul chooses to incarnate- our deepest longing and purpose, embedded in sound with such simple profundity.

Writing it here so I can re-member and access this knowing as I make my way into Esoteric Astrology!

THE WORDS FOR THE SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC

From the angle of form. Natural order. Retrogression through signs.
Pisces through the Signs to Aries

Pisces
“And the Word said: Go forth into matter.”

Aquarius
“And the Word said: Let desire in form be ruler.”

Capricorn
“And the Word said: Let ambition rule and the door stand wide.

Sagittarius
“And the Word said: Let food be sought.”

Scorpio
“And the Word said: Let Maya flourish and let deception rule.”

Libra
“And the Word said: Let choice be made.”

Virgo
“And the Word said: Let matter reign.”

Leo
“And the Word said: Let other forms exist. I rule.”

Cancer
“And the Word said: Let isolation be the rule and yet the crowd exists.”

Gemini
“And the Word said: Let instability do its work.”

Taurus
“And the Word said:. Let struggle be undismayed.”

Aries
“And the Word said: Let form again be sought.”

From the angle of the soul. Spiritual order. Correct passing through sign.
Aries through the Signs to Pisces.

Aries
“I come forth and from the plane of mind I rule.”

Taurus
“I see, and when the eye is opened, all is illumined.”

Gemini
“I recognize my other self and in the waning of that self I grow and glow.”

Cancer
“I build a lighted house and therein dwell.”

Leo
“I am That and That am I.”

Virgo
“I am the Mother and the Child. I, God, I matter am.”

Libra
“I choose the way that leads between the two great lines of force.

Scorpio
“Warrior I am, and from the battle I emerge triumphant.”

Sagittarius
“I see the goal. I reach the goal and see another.”

Capricorn
“Lost am I in light supernal, yet on that light I turn my back.”

Aquarius
“Water of life am I, poured forth for thirsty men.”

Pisces
“I leave the Father’s Home and turning back, I save.”

What’s your part?

In light of recent events, I have been asking-

What are my implicit biases around gender, race, age and nationality?What are yours?

How are they affecting our discernment, and our ability to receive the gifts of those who we disagree with?

These are the questions I myself am sitting with and hope you will too. Last week I went in for an interview for US citizenship. After 19 years of living here, I will be granted the right to vote. The man who granted me this right was a Mexican immigrant, spoke with a Mexican accent, and represented the USCIS.

It was beautiful. In him, was the reminder that I will be just as much a citizen as anyone else. First, second or two hundredth generation Americans are all just that- American. And the law of a land must include and nurture all those who dwell in it- the Tao names this beautifully- IF we wish to create harmony. There are plenty of ways not to.

I have been mourning the sad state of this nation and this divisive politik that wants to get the worst in us.

I know what it’s like to come to a new land without 300 years of my ancestors living here before me- the loneliness, the hope, the despair, the fear of losing the life I have created on a single employer or govt officer’s whim. I know the pain of not being able to call home home, not knowing whether to buy real furniture because my visa may expire in a year.

And through this all, I know the incredible gifts of the Divine- I know what it is to integrate polarities of two divergent cultures within myself, bringing the best of each together, in new beautiful ways.

My family lives on four continents, and my children will be children of an immigrant and my God! I hope they protest louder than I have, calling for reform where reform must happen, because they’ll belong here in ways I am only just about to.

I know the immigrant story from the inside- and I assure you it is not the narrative of entitlement, America hating, self-serving drama we are often sold on the news.

Like wholeness comes from wholeness, trauma perpetuates trauma.

No amount of meditation or immersion in silence clears that out unless we’re truly willing to look in the mirror honestly, take responsibility for the ways in which we ourselves (each and every one of us) perpetuate pain inside and outside and sit with the unbearable within us rather than projecting it outwards, and of course, invite our own pain to be seen, known, lovingly held and transformed.

I content the era of the “power over” strong-handed authoritarian leader is coming to an end, and for that matter, I sense this may be the last time two white men in their 70’s are running this race.

A different reality is taking shape. Like a dying animal you can hear it going out with a scream.

Trump may well be re-elected as many people say (I don’t know), but that re-election is going to bring its own demise.

Even as I feel the collective cry for coherence, I do not think this country is ready to receive it just yet. For as Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev noted, “for a Buddha to rule the world, we must have Buddhas to recognize, and elect one.”

No. I do not think either candidate is the Buddha, but I can see the humanity of both- their failings and their goodness, through the veil. I hope you can too.

When (very soon) I am granted the right to vote, I will use it to elect the man who reflects power, not dominance, models empathy, compassion and humility, and has dedicated his life to serving our nation.

And that would be me doing my part.

In the deep

This poem came through tears…as a teacher of mine asked I accept my place in the world. It’s time, I know it’s time.

In the Deep
5/25/20

Deep
in the deep of the deep
something profound is stirring.

Even as I cloak myself -
Parvati to Kali,
hiding between the play
of Sun and Moon

something quiet is moving.

Listen:

From heart to heart,
the heart of God.

This is a beautiful incarnation.
There is a majesty here!
A profundity-

Joy!

I walk where spirit and matter kiss...
and
withinbecomeswithoutandallaround

A magnificent incarnation!
It is a Truth.
I stand at the top of the mountain.
It is a Truth.

And from here it is seen so clearly-

all the while the only thing stirring
was Vishnu's play-
His Sudharshan chakra
swirling through this world
quietly
creating another.

The call of fire in our hearts

Fire.
Our world is on fire. And so is my heart.

Art by George Redhawk

Fire. 
Our world is on fire. And so is my heart.

And I know that fire is the element of transformation- the cycle of initiation, purification, becoming…this is a becoming that necessitates the burning away of all that is false- inside and around us.

Between a peaking global pandemic, uprisings and protests for basic human rights and dignity and political mayhem, the past fortnight has truly tested us all!

I hope you are simultaneously safe and stirred to the core in the very best of ways because a new reality is pouring into this planet rapidly and calling us to take our place in it in a whole new way. Somedays it has felt to me like drinking right from a firehose!

They say hindsight is 2020, and 2020 is here. What you want to see when you look back at today, is begging be seeded now. The call to alignment has never been louder!

This stirring is not punitive, but rather an invitation into embodied wholeness. 

If you’ve been denying your truth, hiding in the shadows with a dream in your heart, stifling your voice, waiting for someday to live your purpose, I want you to ask yourself: what are you waiting for? If not now, when? If not you, who?

I know the path is uncertain and scary- I’ve walked through this fire myself before, leaving familiarity, safety and comfort to heed an inner calling. So I also know, that every time we step in through the fire, committed to living nothing less than the life we came here to live, when we dare to welcome truth over comfort, courage over fear, we are supported in unimaginable ways that bring us into a state of grace. 

Our planet needs your unique medicine in ways only YOU can bring! In ways that make you come alive!

Are you willing to let the false burn away and embody your truth? In your very ways of being and doing?  

The world just opened a direct path to your innermost calling. Come claim your rightful place in it. Align! 

In this radical time, feeling is not just healing, it is also the doorway to inspired, aligned action. Remember, there is no transformation without embrace- within and between us. 

To help you digest, reset, find purpose and resource in this fiery time, I am offering mini restorative sessions at no charge to you.

If you haven’t worked with me privately, you may be amazed at how impactful and powerful these re-sets can be. 15 minutes of attuned presence can transform lifetimes of pain.

This work is for you if you want to live a fulfilling, vibrant and authentic life. 

If your heart is also on fire, join me. Whether you want to offer the world your unique medicine, express your authentic voice or need support to heal and release emotional, relational and spiritual roadblocks, our work together will help you realize your deepest longings. 

All you need to begin is curiosity. Let’s talk.

Please take great care of your hearts and share this invitation with someone you know who could use it. 

I’m here. I’m listening. I’m standing with and for your brilliance, and the power of the human collective to rise in love together. 

Only love,
Ishita

My fiercest hope for humanity lies in YOU!


That’s my fiercest hope – is that we come back to the natural intelligence that flows through us, instead of constantly negating it. It’s surrendering to the impulse that is the driving force of life. That’s the impulse of creation coming through you!

What could be more natural?
What else could bring fulfillment?

Click on the image for the full podcast episode!

Dear one,

I had a colorful conversation on my soulful colleague Andy Cahill’s podcast, the Wonder Dome last August. He asked me what my fiercest hope for humanity is- a beautiful question he poses to each of his guests.

I realized my fiercest hope for humanity lives in you. It breathes in the way you and I show up in the world, and in these catalytic times, our way of being is more important than ever.

In this intimate conversation we talked about being human and whole, and the juicy possibility that emerges when we come together as one- in service of a world that consciously and lovingly includes and transcends all its parts.

If you’ve been in one of my group courses you know this place of possibility, and if you haven’t, I hope you’ll join me. The world is begging us to show up fully for ourselves and eachother.

You can meet me in all my colors if you listen in! 

with hope and love,
Ishita

SHOW NOTES:

Come to Center
Call to Coherence Intensive
Un Becoming Podcast
Sanskrit
Bhagavad Gita
Francis Briers
Stoicism
Dharma

Connect with me on Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn

Design-in-self

What I sought to create, I found inside myself.

11 years ago (feels like lightyears), for my architectural thesis I designed CeSRON- the Center for Self Reflection, Otherness and Narcissism. A building designed to be a mirror for our inner space…in a culture where self-reflection has become obsolete, replaced by narcissistic self-indulgence, fueled by fear of examining our own shadows.

Little did I know I would go on to create Come to Center, a live mirror that does just that, or that I would end up being that mirror myself for others, down the line…

Little did I know the shadows I was pointing to in the culture have a name- collective trauma, and that it is so universal, it is personal.

This surreal project was a celebration of, in a very tongue n cheek way- the obsolescence of self-awareness- before I had heard of transformation, awakening, healing, or any of the work I do now- ALL of which begins with self-awareness.

The inward turn is where it begins- looking in the mirror of truth.

I was fascinated by the race riots in Detroit- and in studying, and considering what led to the violence and deep separation between people, I saw very clearly, how the inner division leads to outer conflict. I was just so curious about the moment at which a child looks in the mirror and says- “me”. 

I spent final year of architecture school studying Lacan and Jung and Heiddeger and falling in love with Gordon Matta Clark…. I had a hay day questioning everything in a way that ultimately led to transcending my discipline of design and architecture altogether, when staring at the face of human suffering. 

What supported this inquiry was a reflection from my professor- I had finally found one person who saw my hunger for the edges of knowledge, and encouraged me to go all out-wherever you are Rupinder Singh I am so deeply grateful for our time together spent in joyous explorations of the depths of art, architecture, meaning, connection and dissection of life itself! For hiding my keys to get me out of hiding in the bottomless pit that was opening up as I got closer to facing existential truths. You weren’t just a teacher, you were a healer to me.

I didn’t know it then, but the questions alive in all these drawings are: What is the root of separation?

How did we become people? What got made into a self? Who am I? What is this? I even labeled the diagrams things like (my favorite) “Labyrinthine search for self”, never suspecting any of this had to with Spirituality.

And the thing is, I knew then, that all this, is really the search for our center. I just hadn’t seen I was literally searching for my self and that the answers lay within me, and that I could trust all that which I knew, but couldn’t understand. 

That took time. It took living in inquiry and eventually turning inwards.

It took facing the pain of my own inner separation, seeing through the trap of needing to understand things that lay beyond the confines of the mind.

As they say, hindsight is 20-20! Of course it adds up. Having looked in the mirror long and hard, coming to face myself over the years, now I have become the mirror I once set out to design.

Everyday, I hold a mirror to reflect back the truth, power and wisdom that lies within my clients, their shadows, their light and everything in between. In deep inquiry, I appeal to something that lies beyond my clients’ intellects to allow them to step outside the confines of their minds- diving into their conditioning, their traumas to find freedom within.

The journey of personal healing paves the path for our collective transformation. 

I often say, everything is everything- all forms reflect the One. What appears to be separate, is a facet of difference, not separation.

From the outside it may seem like I am doing transformational work, business consulting, designing a building, painting a painting, writing a poem or telling a story… 

From the inside, it’s always been about one thing- falling ever more deeply into loving exploration of myself, and life itself!

no-thing

Let me preface this by saying once again that words are never true and all forms of communication are inherently subjective, and this one is no exception.
That said, living from non-dual experience, it is pretty clear there is only One. Because ‘things’ are just processes disguised, it feels more correct to say there is only One process than One thing.
However, as I noticed at some point in life, not everyone is experiencing existence without separation. It’s kinda curious isn’t it? In the dual experience multiplicity is mistaken for separation, fueled perhaps by the perceived evolutionary need for self preservation- which appears to necessitate differentiation between self and other, the formation and attachment to that identity. And the One/Self/Whole nature becomes forgotten.
Even the different stages of awakened consciousness models are inherently embedded in a dualistic model at a level. As I pointed out my discomfort with this to a teacher (Steve Ulicny) in a discussion, he noted there aren’t different states of consciousness, but different experiences of Totality.
But of course!
The Whole/One/Formless is unchanging. There is only One Process. The experience of it as such however, changes with the neurophysiological state of the ‘experiencer.’ So, there aren’t different stages of consciousness, but simply different degrees of experience of Oneness. In the fully integrated functional neurophysiological state (enlightenment, the culmination of spiritual awakening), the experience of Oness/Totality is total.
No remnants of a separate self remain, and as the ultimate alignment within solidifies, deep trust emerges, leading to surrender of individuality. The piece of the whole (the small wholeness) begins to function in coherence with the Whole, of which ‘it’ is a perfect and complete reflection, ultimately totally.
So, from this perspective, it’s obvious that everyone everywhere is capable and wired for the experience of re-cognizing/re-membering/coming home to Self/One/Wholeness, often termed Awakening, and the delusion of the separate self falls away.
And while there is only One Process, there are as many ways of experiencing it, as there are its reflections. 7.2 billion people on this planet = 7.2 experiences of Wholeness. Here to be/experience just that!
It’s why formlessness keeps coalescing into form in the first place.
Which is why a role I play in the world is to serve as a constant reminder to look inwards, within, without attachment to method, process or external models to compare experience to- which leads to distortion of isness. But instead, to look within and see what is true for you now! What has the One Process incarnated into you to experience fully, in this moment? Allowing it to be seen, held, known, loved, celebrated! That’s the premise behind Open Meditation.
Reminds me of a poem Shunyata (voidness) I wrote a while ago…
“existence smiles, experiencing itself
as you in me in me in you and I”

Open Meditation Meetup

New online meetup to demystify meditation and build conscious community.

Looking at collective social, economic, political and cultural suffering I have always asked why? And, what can I do?
For years, I looked to architecture, design, writing op-eds for the answer. Every line I drew as an Architect, every space I envisioned, was aimed to mitigate disconnection, depression, anxiety, overconsumption, isolation…but it didn’t seem quite enough, when people were suffering the nature of their own thoughts and emotions.
Design aligned the exterior, but if our interior itself was misaligned all beauty, wonder and joy would be missed. And it is. Everyday, we suffer our own constructs, individually and collectively.
A good friend once said to me, “In America you have to be rich, white, thin and beautiful to be happy. Ishita you are not the richest, whitest, thinnest or most beautiful person, but you’re probably the happiest!”
And in that spirit, as I grappled with the divisive and fear based political upheaval, I realized more and more that I can only ever do one thing- be whole in myself and keep clearing out my own core wounds so I can serve the highest and best for all, through the highest and best in me.
What can I do? Facilitate conscious connection to fullness and wholeness already within you which is our birthright. When we feel safe, full and connected, we act out of love not fear.
That was the birth of Come to Center. The only “work” that feels both worthy and true for me.
Meditation aligns our interior. Gandhi once said, “Happiness is when what you think, say and do are the same.” And that is my “secret.” Conscious alignment.
I dream of a conscious and present world, where every being acts from stillness, fullness, from love, for the highest good of all, which is the highest good for each.
Wherever you are, I hope you will join me for Open Meditation. It’s what we really need in the world now.