In my early Come to Center days, as I was still learning to own, share and make transaction for my gifts, I spoke with a Sufi about desire, nakedness and vulnerability…about showing up in partnership with Life. Before we parted, he asked me to let myself be seen and go make a video, which I will share with you in my next post.
Our conversation was a gift to my soul. I share an excerpt of it with your heart now as a gift and an invitation.
“This is important,” he said. “Your desire is really intelligence.
There’s the hungry soul state, the free state and the naked state. The hungry soul way of getting what you want, is desperate- stealing the pie. You see the glass is always half empty, and the universe agrees. In the free state you say, I’m ok here, I don’t need any pie, and the universe agrees. You’re numb, and one day you’re walking dead.”
“You’ve been a renunciate and a sacrificial humanitarian, here and before. You say you don’t need anything, so no one can give it to you. But the thing is, it takes great humility to pay your bills, to ask for money, to say this is how I make my living- to ask for what you need.” And he held my hand as I started to cry.
“Getting naked is where it’s at, you see…full nakedness!
Every day, you need something! And (you ask, and) the universe then starts filling you up…it’s really about being defenseless. Try to continue to ask for what you want, and give people a chance to love you for who you are, you see…letting them see you in your need, asking for what you want- vulnerability- one of the most important human traits…how Gandhi defeated an empire…that’s the nature of vulnerability… if you tell me how you’re feeling, I get to experience the power and beauty of your thought and emotion.
So you’re weaving the basket with one hand and the Universe weaves the other. It’s never been about perfection, it was just about authenticity.
If you make yourself real, God will make you real. If you make God real, God will make you real.”
I did. I still am. Bit by bit. I learned to show up, sometimes trembling, and stand in humility- soft belly, feet planted, heart racing, palms open. I learned to muster up the courage to discover and then ask for what I want, to say no, to be seen in my power and my vulnerability- which it turns out, are the same thing.
This making yourself and God real, isn’t easy! But it is what we have come here to do in our unique ways. This weaving the basket with the universe isn’t an abstraction- it is lived in every aspect of how we are!
And, so much friction eases when turn towards our Sorcerer’s task, knowing who we are, how life works and claim our right place in the Everything. That’s what this path is about, as is Murmurations.
Come weave your basket in partnership with the Universe. Let yourself be seen, be known…by yourself and those around you. Cultivate your inner teacher, healer and sage, that they may fuel how you touch the whole world.
This 6 month immersive alongside masterful guides is a place to awaken, heal, embody and align with purpose with a community supporting you!
And I mean a real community (not just a group of people), where we share our truths, our hearts, our highs and lows of life honestly in shared purpose- to heal and embody our deepest intentions, serving something bigger than ourselves.
A combination of somatics, energetics, relational dynamics, emotional fluidity and awareness based practices coalesce to help people complete the cycles they are in and move into the next level of healing.
You can expect powerful transformation in a relatively short amount of time, in ways that are aligned and attuned to your unique needs.
As of now there are 4 spots open. A mature group is forming, so we can go deeper faster- they’re ready to dive not just into personal healing, but also integrating the relational and spiritual facets of being, while aligning their doing in the world from their new baseline consciousness.
I had the privilege of dancing Oak Dance last weekend, my first step into Native American ceremonial space. It was time. I am American now.
Dancing to the Tree of Life to bring Light down into the earth for collective liberation. Dancing to celebrate Life, release and renew Self…While the core group danced in person, many of us were remote- satellites from our own lands.
Like every initiation, it was intense. And in the intensity, emerged revelation. It was a lovely experience and a chance to see my protection patterns in full swing!
I started out trying to do it right, by all the rules, dance in perfect sync with the group etc. rather than listening to and trusting what felt good and right to me was enough!
Much Tightness to start!
And then as I relaxed and surrendered.
To the ancient voices singing to the drum, to myself, my inner rhythm, to what is, to the intention rather than the form- there were deep openings.
I felt the field come alive.
As I danced my intention into being, I saw the late Lakota Chief, Ascended Master, holder of the light- Frank Fools crow’s face pop up in my mind.
Everything went silent. I just cried and danced with abandon in that meeting for a while.
There are some beings who do that to me…Thich Naht Hanh, Paramhansa Yogananda…just the slightest brush with their field silences everything superfluous.
I return home.
And crying, dancing in the sound and the silence, I realized why they say not to take the lord’s name in vain…the power and grace of simple invocation is real. It was beautiful.
I felt the force of everyone dancing our collective intentions into being around this country.
Know that a group of souls danced for YOU. Prayers for your highest good have been imbued in the air you breath…the breath of Life.
It was palpable and profound.
You see, no prayer is ever wasted- every prayer changes us and when we change, so does our world.
Maybe you have felt it too- the power of shared intention. Of community with healing purpose!
How lovely to be weaving sacred space into my every day. I feel blessed to give and receive the work that flows through me.
As we closed, I saw myself descend down into physical reality after three days in dreamtime!
I felt much gratitude for who I am, who I’m with, what we have done, and how we do it.
I am unmistakably different. That’s transformation.
What a gift! What a blessing!
And there is so much to grow into. The power of my intention is weaving the dream for me to step into. The Everything is listening.
Big breath in. Big breath out.
Thank you. More please!
PS: IF you are interested in self-transformation in a powerful loving community, join us in the next Murmurations cohort starting July! More info below:
Metamorphosis is all around you.
This is not a time to hold back, it’s the time you’ve been readying for. Your life situation is the catalyst, your desire the compass, and Truth your guide.
Join this transformational community to dive beneath the surface and heal disconnects that keep you stuck, separate and suffering.
Heal inner division to embody vibrant wholeness. Release your past to answer the call of a creative future. Connect with heart, purpose and a community of care. Learn how life actually works, and use it to fuel your evolution. Take your rightful place in the expansion of collective consciousness.
Let’s take a moment to celebrate we made it through a whole year in a pandemic amidst heightened tumult, before we begin life’s next movement.
The Equinox is recognized by Yogis as a day conducive to inner harmony. When we attune and balance this dimension in ourselves, with necessary preparation, it gives us an assist on our path to liberation.
To help access this gift I recorded a meditation for everyone in MURMURATIONS. If you wish to receive this short 10 minute meditation practice just send me an email and let me know.
This exercise is for any one who wants to live a conscious life. It’s a space to tune into our inner masculine and feminine polarities and discern how they are relating within because awareness of our inner mechanics is the first step to self-mastery.
No matter what kind of body we are in, or how we identify, what we call Masculine and Feminine are fundamental principles that shape all our existence.
Those words point to the most elemental aspects of creation- beyond sex, gender, identity or sexual orientation.
These polarities in form the manifest– we know them as Yin and Yang, Shiva and Shakti, Anima and Animus, being and doing, active and receptive…heart and mind, intuitive and intellectual…and so on…in their union lies wholeness and in wholeness lies liberation.
We get so much information when we create space and tune in.
I visit this exercise every Equinox- it’s different every time. It clarifies my inner directives to tend to as I step into this next season. If you want some inspiration, you can see my meditative impressions here.
I’ve been watching what folks in MURMURATIONS are discovering through the meditation as they share their words and drawings with us all- the wisdom surfacing in the depths of their silence is still blowing me away…
What are the movements wanting to happen in and through YOU?
Maybe you want to take a moment and tune in to…find out who’s here now, how your inner man and woman are, and through them, what you need to balance these dimensions for a wholesome life. If you want my guided meditation to support your self-inquiry, just ask!
The next cohort of MURMURATIONS begins in June- maybe this conscious community can help you shape what’s springing forth from you! It is so joyful and fulfilling to guide and grow with this cohort, I am delighted to usher in the next.
This 6 month immersion is a space where growing, healing and awakening together to something bigger than ourselves is our priority.
If it calls to you, explore the website, watch my invitation and reach out to see if it’s in right rhythm for you. And if you know someone who’d enjoy joining us, please share it with them.
Intimate group limited to 8 participants, 6 months,12 live group calls, 2 individual sessions, 2 personalized consults, small group practices, partnered session exchanges, tailored home practices, readings, meditations, movies, an online community to journey with, surprises! FUN! and so much more!
This journey in transformational community is for you if you are wanting:
– to cultivate presence and live anchored in your center regardless of circumstances. – to come out of your closet and own your truth and purpose. – more real, balanced and connected relationships. – to deeply love and understand yourself and the nature of experience. – to connect with natural intelligence and make sense of your role on Earth. – playful and grounded spiritual development in a sandbox of value-aligned peers!
“ That’s my fiercest hope – is that we come back to the natural intelligence that flows through us, instead of constantly negating it. It’s surrendering to the impulse that is the driving force of life. That’s the impulse of creation coming through you!
What could be more natural? What else could bring fulfillment? “
I had a colorful conversation on my soulful colleague Andy Cahill’s podcast, the Wonder Dome last August. He asked me what my fiercest hope for humanity is- a beautiful question he poses to each of his guests.
I realized my fiercest hope for humanity lives in you. It breathes in the way you and I show up in the world, and in these catalytic times, our way of being is more important than ever.
In this intimate conversation we talked about being human and whole, and the juicy possibility that emerges when we come together as one- in service of a world that consciously and lovingly includes and transcends all its parts.
If you’ve been in one of my group courses you know this place of possibility, and if you haven’t, I hope you’ll join me. The world is begging us to show up fully for ourselves and eachother.
You can meet me in all my colors if you listen in!
I am interested in existential, fundamental truth. The mechanics of being. In my explorations here’s what I have found to be true:
Absolute Truth can only be approached as Shiv-a – That which is Not.
The reflection of this Absolute is knowable in form as the organizing intelligence of the universe. It manifests within each of us as our own internal harmonic.
Every being is moved by a unique internal harmonic sometimes called God and exteriorized in culture, but of course, the source of creation, of preservation, of destruction- all aspects of manifestation are alive and beating from within us.
The degree of our alignment with the harmonic determines our degree of coherence with the rhythm of the whole, and the fluidity and joy we experience in life.
The illusion of a separate self to be protected, guarded and perpetuated creates distortion in our alignment with the harmonic (never in the harmonic itself). Self betrayal- saying no to our life force- the harmonic- leaves us disconnected from the song our instrument wants to sing.
Liberation, fulfilment, efficacy, joy, and fullness of expression- all lie in aligning with the harmonic. Learning to listen, trust and be guided by it- moving in harmony with all that is, asymptotically towards coherence of the particular with the Whole.
The harmonic isn’t missing in anyone of us. Even those of us who have conditioned and distanced themselves from it consciously or unconsciously, intellectually or somatically…the harmonic vibrates within us all.
To listen, we need silence. To trust, we need direct experience of our own Truth. And the only way to aligned, fulfilled, joyful living, is in.
All that is ever needed, is to go within.
In every moment, consciously allowing the directness of experience to be seen, felt, known, allowed, invited and finally loved…
Let me preface this by saying once again that words are never true and all forms of communication are inherently subjective, and this one is no exception.
That said, living from non-dual experience, it is pretty clear there is only One. Because ‘things’ are just processes disguised, it feels more correct to say there is only One process than One thing.
However, as I noticed at some point in life, not everyone is experiencing existence without separation. It’s kinda curious isn’t it? In the dual experience multiplicity is mistaken for separation, fueled perhaps by the perceived evolutionary need for self preservation- which appears to necessitate differentiation between self and other, the formation and attachment to that identity. And the One/Self/Whole nature becomes forgotten.
Even the different stages of awakened consciousness models are inherently embedded in a dualistic model at a level. As I pointed out my discomfort with this to a teacher (Steve Ulicny) in a discussion, he noted there aren’t different states of consciousness, but different experiences of Totality.
But of course!
The Whole/One/Formless is unchanging. There is only One Process. The experience of it as such however, changes with the neurophysiological state of the ‘experiencer.’ So, there aren’t different stages of consciousness, but simply different degrees of experience of Oneness. In the fully integrated functional neurophysiological state (enlightenment, the culmination of spiritual awakening), the experience of Oness/Totality is total.
No remnants of a separate self remain, and as the ultimate alignment within solidifies, deep trust emerges, leading to surrender of individuality. The piece of the whole (the small wholeness) begins to function in coherence with the Whole, of which ‘it’ is a perfect and complete reflection, ultimately totally.
So, from this perspective, it’s obvious that everyone everywhere is capable and wired for the experience of re-cognizing/re-membering/coming home to Self/One/Wholeness, often termed Awakening, and the delusion of the separate self falls away.
And while there is only One Process, there are as many ways of experiencing it, as there are its reflections. 7.2 billion people on this planet = 7.2 experiences of Wholeness. Here to be/experience just that!
It’s why formlessness keeps coalescing into form in the first place.
Which is why a role I play in the world is to serve as a constant reminder to look inwards, within, without attachment to method, process or external models to compare experience to- which leads to distortion of isness. But instead, to look within and see what is true for you now! What has the One Process incarnated into you to experience fully, in this moment? Allowing it to be seen, held, known, loved, celebrated! That’s the premise behind Open Meditation.
Reminds me of a poem Shunyata (voidness) I wrote a while ago…
“existence smiles, experiencing itself as you in me in me in you and I”
Advait Vedant (अद्वैत वेदान्त) is the collected body of existential knowing transmitted through eons in India, reflecting the nature of being and the organization of formless into form that points to source.
A = not/without. Dvait – two/second.
So the word Advaita, points carefully to ‘that without a second.’ For it wouldn’t suffice to say One- it must be noted that there is no possibility herein for a second- for divisiveness within the whole. The focus is on the indivisible whole that knows nothing outside of itself- pointing to intrinsic, inherent existential connectedness, oneness, wholeness of which all form is a reflection. Multiplicity without separateness. And there is no possible way for a separate self to exist, even though sometimes we are deluded into believing in this separation…In Vedanta, each “piece” of the whole is known and celebrated to be a “small wholeness.”
Lacan wrote “The I cannot exist except in the field of the other.” Conditioned to believe in the separation between self and other, driven by the evolutionary need for self preservation, somewhere along the line the knowingness of the connection of the piece to the whole is lost and an identity emerges, wrapping its cocoon around a piece of the small, a small wholeness, that forgets its own nature.
And 13.8 billion years of evolution later, one small wholeness begins to question itself. To yearn to know itself. A seeker is born. Consciously or unconsciously, engaged in a journey that inevitably begins to point back to the seeker itself. Constructs and identity unravel into a homecoming. Wholeness begins to be experienced by its smaller reflection, and self dissolves into Self.